Honorable mention — Mitchell Griffin: Reality

By Mitchell Griffin

Mitchell Griffin

Have you been suffering from religiosity? If you have experienced any of the following symptoms such as delusions of cosmic importance, wishful thinking, speaking to deities, irrational dehumanization of women, or fixation on the afterlife, you may be suffering from this disease. You are not alone. Many people acquire this early in life and go decades without knowing it.

This disease may be hard to detect on the surface, but a closer look will reveal many tell-tale signs. Do they show undue reverence to an ancient Roman torture device? Do they congregate with friends and family every Sunday to discuss the same book over and over again? Some experience profound anxiety stemming from the condition that causes them to become paranoid that omniscient deities are watching their every move. Not everyone suffers the same way; some people will appear perfectly sane in all other aspects of life, but those with a more severe form, fundamentalism, may be more recognizably in need of help.

I once was trapped by religiosity, too — again, you aren’t alone. I was so worried about the next life that I was forgetting the value of the life I had right in front of me.

But then I found Reality. It’s a new prescription drug made by Secular Pharmaceuticals that let me live my best life. I was no longer consumed by worries about life after death or what God thought of me and I was finally able to be my true self. All it took was a single dose of Reality and I was cured.

Being free from my disease was very bittersweet. At last I could see the world as it is and be liberated, but my friends and family still couldn’t see they needed help. I talked to my doctor, and she told me that those with the disease are sometimes so afraid of what their new life could be like because they have never known anything else that they will refuse treatment. I wish I could get them to see that there was more to life than the Big Dude Upstairs, that our existence is a beautiful fluke in a vast cosmic landscape. That’s why I decided to start my own group for reaching out to those in need of a real revelation, Godless and Graceful. If you or a loved one needs help, call

1-800-THIS-LIFE and a god-free representative will arrange a meeting with a healthcare professional to find the proper dose of Reality. The pills may be hard to swallow, but the results are worth it.

Mitchell, 18, attended Treynor High School in Treynor, Iowa. He will be going to the University of Iowa in the honors program. He plans to study political science and journalism and hopes to someday become an investigative journalist.