Crankmail (January/February 2018)

Here is the latest batch of mail we received that doesn’t quite cut it for our Letterbox section. Printed as received.

Crossville, TN.: Get out of Crossville, Tennessee and stay out. Your presence here offends me. I demand that you stop any and all action in Cumberland County. We believe in God here and do not need any of your stupidity here. Our State law allows the Ten Commandments in our schools and the first Amendment to our Constitution does as well. I do not see what is so hard to understand about that. — William Ward

Beaufort county schools: A heartfelt ‘screw you’ for your organizations bullying tactics and threats that caused Beaufort county schools to halt a VOLUNTARY mentoring program. I could understand if it was FORCED. What a sack of nuts, worse than the Spanish during the inquisition. I guess this is what happens when micro-penises unite. This organization is nothing more than a collective of angry, disaffected, loser adults with nothing else worth doing. — Lucion Depot

Education: your groups views are ill-advised, unfounded, Unconstitutional. Your ignorance has no shame–most Americans are ignorant of their history. Can I volunteer to travel to your group and teach AMERICAN HISTORY? — Steve Cordell

Recent Cowardice: 1. Go to hell 2. Take your colleagues with you. 3. Mind your local issues. 4. In conclusion go to HELL! You represent the scum of the scum of the earth. — David McLendon

Senator Logan: You fucking people make me sick. Nothing better to do but complain about a State Senator, not even in your State, volunteering for a charity. Fucking liberals. — Brian Koskelowski

School prayer: You bullies suck ass !! GO GOD !!! Pussies — Duncan Joyns

You: Shows what fucking morons and haters you are. Karma coming for you! PRAYING for you!! NOT! Karma is coming…your mama sick? Karma! Dog die? Karma! Fuck off!! — Barbara Theisen

Small orgination files lawmsuit: I see in Evansville you are protesting a coach of a football team praying with his players. Can you say Adolph Hitler? Your little organization is no better than him. Communists! — Jay Beier

God Loves you: God forgives you all, and God still loves you. it is not to late to change… one day one of your kids or family is going to be on their death bed, and who are you going to pray to? — David Poole

VIOLATION: ACCORDING to the FOUNDING FATHERS of the U.S. YOU ARE a VIOLATION of the Constitution go to Washington D.C. and try to find a building in that city that DOESN’T HAVE SOMETHING about GOD and the BIBLE in it or on it…. Do YOURSELVES and this COUNTRY a favor and GET OUT and TAKE ALL of the LIBERAL POLITICIANS with you Because NONE of you BELONG HERE you are NOT AMERICAN CITIZENS. — Paul Chandler

The First Amendment: The first amendment gives us Freedom of religion(not from it). Basically, your organization is unconstitutional. — Stephen Johnson

Religion: I am no atheist or liberal. I detest both and they are close minded and fucked up in the head. Unlike you morons I think for myself and I oppose religion too but at least I know what I’m talking about. You idiots don’t think or speak for me. I do that for myself. This is a totally clueless organization — Richard Thorpe

Perish: All of you perish in your total wickedness!!! — Ron Witt

Flag: Go to HELL!!!!! Oh wait a minute, you all are already headed there!!!!!!! BWAHHHHHHHHH! — Don Antifall

I’d like to donate: It must suck to be on the wrong side of everything. I’m sure if you ever have a horrendous accident and are near death you will be begging God to save you or spare your child. What a bunch of useless douchebags. — Billy Johnson

Pathetic:  If the bible is “so bad” then go write your own bible and then try to get people build their lives around it. I’ll be happy to read the inevitable shitty writings that you’ll come up with. The only good thing atheists do, is to unite religious people in their hatred of the pathetic, useless atheists. — Whitney Deangelo

THIS IS OUR TIME: Freedom From Religion Foundation is the rebirth of the Communist Party. Social Haters, Sicko Perverts. America, let’s start identifying these animals by name and address. It is time to start cleaning these vial animals from our towns, let’s send them back to hell. We have cleaned our town, and other towns are starting. Put a name and face on the Haters. Seek out this Vile Animal and Destroy it. — Abner Lansing

Crankmail comes via both email and postal mail.